Entry of 9/3/24 (09:13)

I just rejected food for my bones. I’m hideous really don’t you see my face?!? How did anyone love such a disgrace??? Are you presenting it now??? Or are you in the eyes of different people all over the world? Do I have access to everyone’s perception of me? Or am I just gross? I’m not pretty enough for you and I can see it clearly. Lets have sex, then make me pregnant!! Then you’ll leave me with this subconscious addiction of mine that only now I’m realizing is so bad!!! And that day I’ll also lose you. Which means losing me. I wonder how my reaction will be. Hatred or pure agony. Who have i become someone do disgustingly sour. Make me someone better, another day from tomorrow. You’re cheating on me!! I can tell!! You always make me get cast in this spell of love. What have you done to me you have ruined my mind but have opened it up at the same time. This is true love and i will marry you one night. I’ll make you mine and kill if i ever get out of your thoughts! Slice your throat open and taste the blood presented in the eyes of a part time cannibalistic lover. Cut you deeper and make you mine, and gather up your flesh and absorb it into my mind. For i have eaten such a fine meal today. Its quenching and shaking and everlastingly hungry. For a piece of flesh of his or the bite on the tongue. Would i hurt you? And make you suffer so bad. Tie you up and torture you to death while i stab you in all the right places. I love you so i cant lose you. Don’t you see the mind of me how messed up all this has to be! What have i wished upon me? A beauty of a story, no matter the tragedy. The memories of your perspective will never change until you enter the brain of another. Someone random on this earth, then yet another. Where have all us been? Since then, when we were all kids. Do you remember me or have i been forgotten since i wasn’t really apart of them all. I was weird you could say, yet some people liked me anyways. Had i been beautiful had then been it all? And I’m now realizing it all! Oh blood is so beautiful it is so beautiful. I don’t deserve to bleed, for i am not pretty enough for that delicacy. So i will now starve as i see the stars, for i want to be beautifully seen. So please for now, don’t look at me! I am so beautifully altered. But my face needs to improve, for all this jealousy is unbearable!!